How a grief project became an award winning book

Elena Stowell’s ‘Flowing With the Go’ recognized as she works to honor her daughter’s memory

Carly Stowell’s positive energy still permeates her family’s world six years after her death.

When her brother Carson, who is a sophomore at Kentlake, got into the car for the first time after he got his driver’s license he turned on the radio and out came “Over My Head” by The Fray. It was a song Carly loved.

It’s been little more than six years since Carly died. She was days away from turning 15 and was a freshman at Kentlake when she died from an undiagnosed heart condition.

Since then her mother Elena Stowell wrote a book, “Flowing with the Go: A Jiu-Jitsu Journey of the Soul,” which told stories of her daughter through the lens of her newest passion, Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

What started as a project suggested by her grief therapist, who told Stowell to write down all those stories about her daughter, has now become an award-winning book.

Released in July 2012, “Flowing with the Go,” recently won a pair of awards, Stowell said.

First, she found out she won an eLit award in a grief category, a silver medal in fact.

“Then the week after that I found out I was a finalist in a much bigger thing … the New Generation Indie Book awards,” she said. “I was a finalist in the inspiration category. It’s funny because when the publisher called me, I said, ‘Oh, that’s nice. But, what does that mean?”

Stowell said the recognition is nice and she’s proud of the 150-page book which will soon get a redesigned cover with the medallions representing the awards she’s won.

After touring Brazil last August to promote the book, she is looking forward to growing another project, the Gift of the Gi, which is an extension of the work done by the Carly Stowell Foundation, a nonprofit she started with her husband, Chuck, after Carly’s death. The idea is to give kids the opportunity to pursue what they love, specifically sports and music, as Carly was a talented athlete and musician in her own right.

This summer, Stowell will travel to Brazil again, this time to focus on Gift of the Gi.

“It’s exceeded my expectations,” she said. “When I started it I didn’t know, if you build it will they come? I’ve collected over 100 gis now. When I’m traveling I let people know I’m going to be in their town and I pick up a few gis that way.”

When she goes to Brazil this summer, while she’s on break from her job as a science teacher at Kentwood High, Stowell will work with children at two different gyms where they train in BJJ. She plans, through the Carly Stowell Foundation, to sponsor some of the youngsters so they can compete in tournaments and cover other things they may not be able to afford.

Stowell sent a mock scholarship application, similar to what the foundation uses here, to the gyms in Brazil. She said she just wanted contact information.

“Then on our financial aid application here it says, Carly worked hard to achieve dreams so what are you going to do,” she said. “The five little kids — they’re anywhere from 6 to 11 — wrote a paragraph.”

Those children wrote about how they aspire to be fighters, to be world champions, but they need help because their families don’t have the money for them to compete.

“That’s going to be a new venture and I’m excited I’m going to get to meet them,” Stowell said.

Carson, the youngest of her children, will travel with her to Brazil. They will take 100 gis. Stowell said the travel should be interesting because Brazilians are a bit more laid back when it comes to the details of the arrangements.

But when it comes to the Gift of the Gi program, it seems like Carly’s energy is there, too, showing up in the most unexpected places.

Stowell was introduced by one of her Brazilian friends to a businesswoman, Kerstin Krieger, who lives in San Diego. She and her husband own a company, Hyperfly, which makes gis and other martial arts gear.

“Jon introduced us, but, it was kind of over the phone,” Stowell said. “I didn’t meet her face to face until we went down to worlds in October. We always kept talking and she told me she wanted to get involved in my program. She wants to do something more altruistic. She wants to reach out in some way. She has other connections that I don’t have.”

Krieger invited Stowell to San Diego so they could brainstorm ideas about how to do more with Gift of the Gi.

While Stowell was there, she was walking through Krieger’s house and something caught her eye. A pair of Carly Stowell Foundation Jammin’ basketball team shorts were sitting out. It made her do a double take.

Neither Krieger or Stowell were sure how the shorts, which were a youth extra large, got in Krieger’s house. Turns out Krieger’s teenage son Sam had gotten them from a friend but it’s still not clear how the classmate got his hands on the shorts.

Carly’s positive energy just seems to permeate the life of her family.

Krieger and Stowell get along well. They have many similar ideas. And this little Gift of the Gi program could go well beyond Stowell’s original concept of collecting gis, going to Brazil and handing them out, something she would have been quite happy doing.

“You want to believe that you can work and make your dream happen,” Stowell said.