By Gretchen Leigh

I realized I haven’t pushed my daughters to be independent enough. It’s not too late, though. My oldest is almost 21 and really had no choice but to start being more self-reliant. She’s of legal age and I cannot speak for her any longer.

Last year when she moved out to go to college, she bemoaned the fact she wasn’t a good adult. Honey, let me tell you, no one is a good adult. No one gets it right. Ever. And if you think you have finally reached the pinnacle of adult knowledge, it’s a façade. Because just when you think you have it all figured out, the ominous “they” change the rules.

My daughter has stepped up since she turned eighteen and made her own doctor appointments, ordered her own medications and simple things like that. Some of you may laugh at that. Why wouldn’t she be doing those things at her age? It’s a big deal in a household where mom is home all the time and they are used to me doing everything. There’s not a lot of independence necessary when your mother is doing your laundry. It’s just the nature of the beast.

Don’t get me wrong. My kids know how to do things, they just don’t want to. Even so, I’m satisfied with my oldest daughter’s progress at easing out from under my thumb. She’s navigated major responsibilities by working, paying school loans and keeping her own schedule.

Then a new adult reality hit when she didn’t receive her W-2 from one of the three jobs she had last year and I presented her with the dark force that is tax season. She told me she didn’t understand taxes. I told her I didn’t either, many “real” adults don’t, and that’s why God made accountants.

However, her case was simple enough, she just needed that last tax form and then she could do her taxes online. The catch was mom wasn’t at liberty to track it down for her. It was all on her.

My sister said you haven’t reached adulthood until you’ve had to deal with the cable company. Really though, it’s any kind of conflict that requires the telephone, a lot of complicated options and ignorant people.

Though my daughter didn’t know it, she’d been preparing for that day a good portion of her life. She had already battled evil nemesis, ran through mazes of traps and dead ends, and faced the murky situations in the video games she’s so fond of. And if you think about it, though video games are not real life, they often mimic the way we really feel about some of the conflicts we’re forced to deal with.

So she wound through the obstacle course of automated phone options, got cut off three or four times, and received the same incorrect information from numerous people. She was drawn into the dark side of real life and realized there is a whole underworld of deceptive mazes that threaten to bring the whole ecosystem of our social structure to a crashing halt.

Or you just have to push the right combination of buttons.

After a couple hours, she resolved the issue and her W-2 should be on its way this week. Now my lovely, 21-year-old daughter has lost her innocence and nothing will ever bring that back.

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing and her daily blog on her websitelivingwithgleigh.com, on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh.”or follow her on Twitter @livewithgleigh. Her column is available every week atmaplevalleyreporter.com under the Lifestyles section.