Cardinal Food Rule No. 589: Potato salad shalt not be consumed more than four times during the summer. If you fail to uphold this rule and chose to serve potato salad a fifth time, it will be met with disdain and ignored for the rest of its unwanted life.
I had the misfortune of crossing the line of no return. I wasn’t insulted that they turned up their noses that fifth time. I know they like my potato salad. I upped my game this summer by adding boiled eggs, Grey Poupon, and a bit of fresh onion, as well as the traditional sweet relish and mayo. I thought I was safe making it one more time, because it had been at least two weeks if not three since I served it last. My family was apparently keeping track and came up with an addendum to the rule: doesn’t matter how long it’s been if you’ve already reached your quota for the summer we will not eat it or at least we won’t enjoy it.
Even my husband who dare not tell me he doesn’t want to eat something I cooked said, “yay?” when I served him bratwurst with leftover potato salad. My oldest, who loves potatoes with her whole heart and soul, didn’t even take a helping when she got home from work. She’s never been hungry enough, I guess.
Who am I kidding, neither have I, but one of my great pleasures in life is making sure all the food I buy gets cooked and consumed. I’d like to think it’s because I’m socially conscious and don’t want to waste food, starving children in India and all. But my reasons are far more selfish: I put out the effort to shop and cook, I desire complete consumption.
I’ve run into this food exploitation before, but never with potato salad. It’s usually a fine line with fruits during the summer. It’s the same with peaches. I have to know when I’ve bought my last flat of peaches before they quit eating them. I face a similar dilemma with watermelon. When watermelon season is in full swing, they eat so much they slosh – until they don’t. I don’t eat watermelon myself, so I must judge its welcome in our home very carefully or I’ll have a whole watermelon wasting away in the fridge. Not only does a none-watermelon-eater have to choose the perfect melon, I must know when they are done eating it. Like a tense card game or as Kenny Rogers sang, “You gotta know when to fold ‘em.”
I have to be careful not to let my family’s food rules give me an existential crisis. As a stay-at-home mom my confidence is always on shaky ground. That’s because my life is all about my family and I want to please them by feeding them. Even though they don’t state, “I’m tired of this food,” I place a lot of my self-worth in providing them with those they enjoy. So of course, it hurts when they don’t eat what I’ve provided.
It’s probably not the healthiest way to think of myself. I don’t think all stay-at-home moms feel the way I do. Some don’t place the value on cooking that I do and they’ve found better ways to measure their “Good Mother” status. Lucky them, as I painstakingly figure out what’s for dinner.
As for me, I’m done making potato salad this summer. On to pasta salad, which only my oldest daughter likes. To my husband and youngest daughter – you brought this on yourselves. At least it will get eaten – until it doesn’t. May all your labors be appreciated by the ones you love this Labor Day.
Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing and her blog on her website livingwithgleigh.com or on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh by Gretchen Leigh,” or twitter @livewithgleigh. Her column is available every week at maplevalleyreporter.com under the Life section.
