Yodie Toadie rules the house and the universe

I had a moment of inspiration this morning.

The thought occurred to me that the person who said a dog was a man’s best friend must have been a borderline crazy person.

My life has been taken over by a little dog, a girl dog.

This lightning strike came to me while I was lying in bed at 6 a.m. My daughter’s dog, Yodie Toadie, was standing on my chest staring at me. I could see in her doggie eyes she believed she was ruler of the joint and I better not forget it.

Yodie is a cute mixture of part Yorkshire terrier and mostly demon from hell.

When my daughter, Katy, is home, Yodie runs around with her and treats me like I don’t exist. I’m the one who pays the stinking bills, gives her a house to rule over, fills her bowl with food and gives her water. But I’m Mr. Zero when Katy is home.

The moment Katy leaves the house, Yodie moves down the food chain and I become a doggie’s best friend again.

I have many times tried to tell Katy she needs to train her dog. Yodie thinks she runs the universe, and me.

My daughter is a very smart girl, but she couldn’t train a fish to swim.

Yodie runs amok ruling her little kingdom. She sits on the back of the recliner staring out the window, barking out orders to every bird that flies past.

Katy is certain she is a genius. I think Yodie is insane.

Yodie chewed up my cell phone last week. I woke up in the morning and found my phone with chew marks all over it and the back missing.

I called the little darling one of my pet names.

Katy informed me it was not Yodie’s fault.

“You were supposed to buy her a bone the night before. It’s your fault because you forgot. She’s just acting like a dog.”

Funny, I thought she was acting like a furry little Satan, but no, it must be my fault, sinner that I am.

Sunday, Katy will be returning to Eastern for spring quarter and she will be leaving Yodie Toadie in charge.

Beginning Monday I once again get to be Yodie’s best friend until June.

What a great life.