My husband and I will celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary very soon. I think the secret of a long marriage is a couple’s ability to follow directions together.

The strength of our marriage is tested every summer when we go to car shows — more specifically when we go on poker runs during the car shows. A poker run is an event the hosting car club puts on that gives the cars an opportunity to drive around. Each stop is typically a place to draw a card, the highest poker hand at the end of the event usually wins a cash prize.

Now as a writer and former technical writer, other people’s perception of what are good directions and what are bad directions are always in question. Do you tell someone about the light then tell them to turn at the light or do you only talk about the light as you approach it? If you talk about the light twice without the benefit of a street name, the reader can misinterpret it to mean there are two lights rather than only one.

So as my husband and I follow the directions, with me navigating and him listening as I read out the sometimes vague instructions on where to turn, we can get into heated arguments about what the author meant.

“He talked about the light, here’s the light.”

“That was the light we just went through, we need to go straight now.”

“But the light we just went through wasn’t near the McDonald’s, it talks about McDonald’s being across from the light.”“

The last light was before the McDonald’s. I think they said if we got to the McDonald’s we had gone too far.”

“It didn’t say anything about going too far. Who’s reading these directions anyway? If you want me to navigate, let me navigate.”

“Let’s go to McDonald’s, I could use a Coke.”

By this time my kids are irritated by our bickering and yelling at us to stop. We then have to pull over and pore over the instructions, discussing where we previously turned and where we are ultimately headed. I usually win because I’m the one holding the instructions in my hand and reading them as they play out. It’s much harder to be the driver and sort out where we’ve turned and what has and hasn’t happened.

I have to confess something here: I write a poker run for my husband’s club’s car show. It’s in Westport. The problem with Westport is there is no actual west — it’s in the ocean — and the two main highways in the area don’t connect. So the potential routes are extremely limited.

About eight years ago, to make it more interesting and give me more to work with, I started rhyming the directions. Not only are they in rhyme, but I don’t actually tell them where to turn, I only give them clues (in rhyme). Let’s just say I may have ended marriages.

One year, there was a newly married couple at the car show and one of the seasoned attendees said, “You’re newly married? This should not be the first poker run you go on as newlyweds. It will be a short marriage.”

They did go on it. I think it was the poker run where 60 percent of the participants got lost. I believe the newlyweds stayed married — at least for the remainder of the car show. I can’t vouch for what happened on the ride home.

So the test of a long marriage isn’t really how well a couple follows directions, but how well they make it through the act of following directions together and how long they continue to argue about it after they are at their final destination.

But really, he should just let me navigate.

Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. She still insists on navigating. You can read her column every week on covingtonreporter.com under the Lifestyles section.. You can also read more of her writing and her daily blog on her website or “like” Living with Gleigh on Facebook.