Finding civilized political discussions | Jules Maas

Facebook and politics do not mix. Anyone who’s spent time on the social network will probably recognize this scenario very well:

Facebook and politics do not mix. Anyone who’s spent time on the social network will probably recognize this scenario very well:

• someone posts an update cheering or jeering a political event;

• five of that person’s friends leave comments in support;

• one of the friends leaves a comment not in support;

• 25 more friends come out of the woodwork and

• a three day, all-caps name-calling session ensues.

Anywhere from 60 percent to 90 percent of the people in the argument have never even met each other, 10 percent will make a new friend, 10 percent will lose a friend and 99.9 percent would never treat someone that way in real life. Ever.

If you’re frustrated by the scene I’ve just described, don’t feel bad. Most of us who use the site don’t get it, either. Online or off, debates of opinion almost always nosedive into emotional generalizations that never make a lick of sense. They’re never productive. They’re often hurtful. Particularly when they’re online.

A friend of mine was recently called a racist for defending Obama on a facebook thread celebrating the Republican victory last week in Massachusetts. This made me wonder a couple of things.

1. How can you support Obama and be a racist?

2. Do we even teach debate in school anymore?

3. Would someone, having never met her, ever think saying that to her face?

I don’t have kids, so I have no idea on No. 2. But I do know that I worked with this friend for six years and know her to be the least racist person on the planet.

I have observed that people, including myself, tend to confuse being right with being able to change someone’s mind. Having commented myself in several facebook discussions because an excruciating sense of “The truth! It must be known!” took over my keyboard, I’ve learned there’s never much satisfaction in it.

Yes, it felt awesome at the time – I had my say! But I tromped all over a friend in the process. And nobody’s better for it.

As a result of my online connections, I’ve learned 80 percent of my friends are Democrats. I am not. It’s not terribly surprising when we think about the kind of people we are. But I do find it surprising that we never talked about these differences in real life, and we chose each other anyway.

Together, we’ve been able to make a difference regardless of our parties, and because of our beliefs. It’s a lesson I try to remember every time I log on, or whenever I’m ready to throw a fork at the image of Rachel Maddow.

Let’s be civil out there.