I actually had my hands on eclipse viewing glasses a couple weeks ago. It was quite by accident, they were in the shopping cart I grabbed. I didn’t even notice them at first until I was in the milk section picking up some half and half when they came to my attention. New solar eclipse glasses are long, thin strips of cardboard and they were sitting across the back of the seat part of the cart. I picked one up and looked to see what it was, put it back in the basket, then forgot all about them.
As I was leaving the check stand, I spotted them again, still sitting in my cart. I looked at the price, $1.99. A pretty good price for something to protect eyesight from the damaging rays of the sun. But as I hadn’t purchased them, I wondered what to do. I wasn’t in a frame of mind to buy them as I strolled toward the door. Then I saw the kiosk with other glasses in them and I put them away.
Though I had no protective eye wear for the eclipse, please don’t think it was stupid of me to put them away. Monday of the historic event was a weekday. I knew my husband would be at work, my oldest too, my youngest, the vampire, still in bed. I didn’t even know how many pairs I would need, so I didn’t want to waste money on people who may not be around to use them. As the day drew closer, I decided on my own way to view the solar eclipse and mark the phenomenon: safely outside on my back patio, on a comfortable couch, watching my laptop as the day darkened around me. When it was over, I continued doing laundry. Big whoop.
I had other goals that day, and in spite of stopping for the momentous occasion of the historic eclipse, and doing laundry I had a new flower bed in my backyard I needed to finish. The week before I had rented a sod cutter and followed that up with a rototiller. I just needed to put a few finishing touches on it and it would be ready to plant a few bushes I bought.
Before the eclipse, I raked out the grass roots in the newly rototilled area. My daughters joined me to view the eclipse, then we ran out to take selfies with the eclipse, and sat on the 57 bags of steer manure/compost blend I bought to put in the new garden bed. After the eclipse, I started dispersing the bags, cutting one open, dumping it in an area of dirt, raking it flat.
As I labored, I suddenly realized I missed a great opportunity — I should have had an eclipse party. My youngest actually got out of bed before noon just to watch the eclipse. My oldest was on her way to work, but had herself ready to go so we could see the point of totality together before she walked out the door.
But there I was after the eclipse, spreading poop all over my yard… SPREADING DARK POOP OVER THE LIGHT COLORED DIRT IN MY YARD. I could have had all my kids’ friends over, thrown breakfast food at them, watched totality on the internet, and afterward proceeded to a themed party game of totally eclipsing my backyard with steer manure.
Totality (see what I did there?) missed my opportunity.
Gretchen Leigh is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Covington. You can read more of her writing and her blog on her website livingwithgleigh.com or on Facebook at “Living with Gleigh by Gretchen Leigh,” or twitter @livewithgleigh. Her column is available every week at maplevalleyreporter.com under the Life section.
